Cathlena Martin

Guided Revision

Fall 2007
Syllabus
Assignments
101.04 Schedule
101.13 Schedule
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GUIDED REVISION OF FINAL DRAFT – WORKSHEETS (1 of 5)

Revising your Draft

Having written your essay, you have gained the perspective of hindsight. Was the subject matter more complex than you anticipated? Did you find you had too much information to convey, or not enough. Did your preconceived ideas prove less interesting than discoveries you made while writing?

For the Guided Revision, you’ll be assigned specific revision tasks. As you work, keep all your revision work together WITH A MARKED-UP COPY OF YOUR DRAFT, and submit the combined package with your final paper for your grade on this assignment. Also, as you work, keep in mind the following principles, as outlined by the Writing Center at Harvard University:

· Revision entails rethinking your thesis. Because clarity of vision is the result of experience, it is unreasonable to expect to come up with the best thesis possible--one that clearly accounts for the complexities of the issue at hand--before beginning a draft, or even during a first draft. The best theses evolve; they are the products of the kind of precise thinking that is only possible to achieve by writing. Successful revision involves bringing your thesis into focus--or, changing it altogether.

· Revision entails making structural changes. Drafting is usually a process of discovering an idea or argument. Your argument will not become clearer if you only tinker with individual sentences. Successful revision involves bringing the strongest ideas to the front of the essay, reordering the main points, cutting irrelevant sections, adding implications. It also involves making the argument's structure visible by strengthening topic sentences and transitions.

· Revision takes time. Avoid shortcuts: the reward for sustained effort is a clearer, more persuasive, more sophisticated essay than a first draft can be.

For the first tasks of the Guided Revision, follow these steps:

I. Put your draft aside for a time. Allowing yourself to put your essay out of your mind for a short time (maybe 24 hours or so) will allow for more objective self-evaluation. After your time away, try to pretend you’ve never seen it before and read your draft all the way through from beginning to end. Then answer the following questions:

· In your rereading of your essay, describe your general response.

· Do you continue to find your topic interesting? If so, why? If not, why not?

· Have you found troublesome parts of your essay? If so, list them.

· Have you found parts you particularly like? If so, describe them.

GUIDED REVISION OF FINAL DRAFT – WORKSHEETS (2 of 5)

II. Get feedback. Have another reader read your paper or go to the CRC. Since you already know what you're trying to say, you aren't always the best judge of where the draft is clear or unclear. Let another reader tell you. Then discuss aloud what you were trying to achieve. In articulating for someone else what you meant to argue, you will clarify ideas for yourself. As you discuss your paper with your reader, also find out from him/her the answers to these questions:

· What was your reader’s general response to the essay?

· Did your paper capture your reader’s attention? Why or why not?

· Did your reader find any parts of the essay troublesome? If so, what were they and why were they troublesome to him/her?

· Did your reader find any sections of the writing difficult to understand? Which were they? Can you find a way to revise these sections?

· Did your reader particularly like any aspect of your paper? If so, what appealed to him/her and why?

· After your reader has reviewed your paper, ask him/her to explain to you WHY s/he thinks you chose to write about your subject. Is s/he correct? Was s/he able to determine this motivation FROM YOUR PAPER ALONE? If not, how do you think you can revise your paper to convey this information?

GUIDED REVISION OF FINAL DRAFT – WORKSHEETS (3 of 5)

III. Begin to tighten structure.

· Identify the main idea(s) in each paragraph of your paper, number each of them, and assign a brief but descriptive title to each paragraph. As you work, make sure that each paragraph, in fact, deals with one identifiable, unified concern. If you find any that do not, revise them, divide them, or delete them as appropriate. List your numbered and titled paragraphs:

· Look at the titles of your paragraphs. Do any of them sound similar? Do any of them seem to address the same basic issues? If so, consider deleting or combining these so-similar paragraphs. Describe your work.

· Can you mentally “chain” your paragraph title together in a logical sequence? Check to make sure that this “chain” fits together naturally at each link. Do you have to stretch too far to get from one link to the next? Do you find that you’re circling back to the same basic topic again and again? If so, you’ll need to reorder your paragraphs (and add or subtract paragraphs) until you can string them together in a logical sequence. Using your original number and titles, list your reordered paragraph sequence.

· Now look at your draft again. Determine which paragraphs “fit together” as part of subsections of your paper. Mark these subsections on your draft, and then assign each of them a title. List the titles of your subsections, with your paragraphs grouped under the appropriate section.

· To complete this task, confirm that your paper’s structure fits together tightly, and that it moves from one aspect of your topic to the next without rambling or redundancy. Were you able to locate any structural weaknesses in this process? Do you find any places that need additional revision?

GUIDED REVISION OF FINAL DRAFT – WORKSHEETS (4 of 5)

IV. Argumentation

· List again your paragraphs (apportioned into subsections) from number III. Rank the importance of these paragraphs in advancing your thesis (For example: Assign three stars—crucial, two stars—valuable, one star—okay).

· Have you included ANY paragraphs that do not introduce, elaborate, support, illustrate, rebut, extrapolate from, or resolve your overall thesis? If so, list them. You’ll most likely want to eliminate them.

· Rethink your thesis. Based on what you did in the previous steps, restructure your argument: reorder your points, cut irrelevancies or redundancies, or expand support sections. You may want to return to your sources for additional evidence. Enter your thesis here (both the original and/or newly revised, if you revised it.)

NOTE: If your paper is too short, pay close attention to the remaining questions on this page... If you’re missing any of these aspects in your paper, consider adding them.
· Check each of the following items that you’ve included in your argument:
‚ Introduction and background information?
‚Thorough consideration of underlying assumptions regarding your subject, including your own previously unexamined assumptions?
‚ Arguments in favor of your thesis?
‚ Quotations from or paraphrasing of experts who agree with your thesis?
‚Examples that illustrate and support your thesis?
‚Arguments in opposition to your thesis?
‚ Quotations from or paraphrasing of experts who dispute your thesis?
‚Examples that illustrate the opposing view to your thesis?
‚Rebuttals to oppositional arguments and examples?
‚ Concessions, contexts, and/or qualifications for your thesis?
‚ Suggestion of additional research? (That is, explain that "Reseachers should investigate or discover…” the stuff that you didn't do because you had no more time.)
‚ Conclusion, summary, call to action, etc?

· Examine your paper to determine whether you’ve included the complications and implications of your argument—and if not, you can add these sections. To arrive at considerations of complication and implication, answer these questions:

· To consider complications, ask whether you’ve considered details that could complicate the thesis you support. Can you think of any situations in which your thesis wouldn’t work or in which it would pose problems? What would be the difficulties of adopting your approach?

· To consider implications, ask whether your approach, if adopted, would generate change or disturb the status quo. In what ways might it do so? Who or what would be most affected by the change—that is, who stands to gain or lose? On this basis, can you predict areas of resistance?

GUIDED REVISION OF FINAL DRAFT – WORKSHEETS (5 of 5)

V. Review introduction and conclusion.

Now that you know the extent of your argument, reread your introduction and conclusion, and revise them if necessary. Look at your paragraphs once again to make sure that each of them covers a clear topic, and that you link idea(s) in each paragraph to those proposed in the thesis. That is, don’t assume that your reader will make these connections--make the connections explicit for him/her. List comments and/or results.

VI. Proofread.

· Go through your draft looking for passive sentences. Especially, circle all instances of “to be” verbs. If they flag a passive sentence, revise to active voice. De-nominalize by converting noun-packages and statements of equivalences into action narratives. List below comments and/or results.

· Look through your draft for redundant language, typographical, grammatical, syntactical, and spelling errors, and revise. Aim for precision and economy in language. List comments and/or results.

· Read aloud so that you can hear any awkward places. (Your ear will pick up what your eye has missed.) You should be able to read your paper through with an easy and natural rhythm. Breaks or changes in rhythm normally indicate places where a good writer wants to emphasize a point, catch the reader’s attention, or shift to a new perspective. Correct any places where you stumble over the words, or where the rhythm does not seem to suit your purpose. List comments and/or results.

VII. Formatting.

Double-check your formatting to make sure that you’ve formatted and cited everything correctly. (Look up the correct format if you’re not sure.) Make sure your final draft includes name, title, page numbers, and all other required MLA formatting features. List comments and/or results.